हिंदी जोक्स एसएमएस and Status Messages - पेज 8

हिंदी जोक्स एसएमएस और संदेश, हिंदी जोक्स एसएमएस Images on Page 8 of 88
व्यूएड : पूरा समय: 955557 टाइम्स , सप्ताह: 8094 टाइम्स
अपडेटेड 7 years ago

Santa movie dekhne gaya. Achanak movie me sher ko aapne taraf aata dekh chup gaya.
Men: tum chup kyo rahe ho ye to movie hai.
Santa (gusse se): saale tujhe pata hai yeh movie hai, Mujhe pata hai yeh movie hai, Per who to jaanver hai use kya pata ki yeh movie hai...

A kanjus boy fall in love wid kanjus girl,
Girl:- jab DAD so jaynge to mei gali me sikka phaink dungi tum foran andr aa jana,
Lakin boy 1 ghante baad aya...
Girl:-itni der kyo lga di.
Boy:-mai sika dhund rha tha
Girl:- pagal vo toh meine dhaga bandh k phenka tha

Boy-Hi darling kaisi h?
Girl-Kon?
Boy-Tera aashiq hu Jaan!
Grl-Tu Bunty h?
Boy-Ha tuje kaise pta?
Grl-Tu Bansi Lal ka ladka h?
Boy-Ha par kaise pta?
Grl-Tu Ram Lal ka pota hi h na?
Boy-Ha ha par kaise pta chala

Grl-Haramzade me teri behen hu, Ghar pe phone ghuma diya tune
Tu ghar aa fir btati hu..

Dad: beta 5 k bad kya ata h?
Son-6,7
Dad:wah mera briliant beta
Or 6,7 k bad?
Son-8,9,10
Dad-kya bat hai beta wah, aur uske bad?
Son-gulam,begum,badshah:-

Bhakt: He Bhagwaan kya aap meri sharaab chudwa sakte ho?
Bhagwaan : Kyu nahi beta.
Bhakt: To meri 12 botal scotch Goa Police ne japt ki hai, wo chudwa do..

Ek_Aurat faSt
Chalti train me
Chadi to logo ne
Kaha: "Kamaal ki
Aurat hai..!"
tO Aurat ne
Kaha: "Kamaal tO
mera devar
Hy
me tO Jamaal ki
Aurat hu

Nirmal Baba:- gagan Ke SMS jab aate hai tab dyan se Padhte ho..?
Bhakt : Haan, Baba ji..
Baba :Vapas Reply Karte ho..?
Bhakt : Nahi Baba ji..
Baba :Tabhi to 'KIRPA' ruki hui hai, Reply kiya Karo, kirpa ayegi Karodpati ban jaoge, jese m ban gya.

Kid:can i go to toilet?
Teacher: (correcting)
may i go to the toilet ?
Kid: chup chap baithi reh jyada chalak na ban pehle main jaunga

Biwi ne shohar ko phone kiya: kahan hain aap?
Shohar: tumhain who jewelry shop yaad hai jahan tumhain ek diamond ka set pasand aya tha?
Biwi (khush hote huye): Han han mujhe yaad hai.
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Shohar: Mein us ke sath wali shop mein baal katwa raha hun..

Teacher santa se Koi aisa sentence bnao jis me
'MAGAR' 2 bar istemaal hua ho,
santa:-
"Wo Mere aage chal rahi thi or main us k,
MAGAR MAGAR"
:-)

Boyfriend: Mujhe Maaf Kar Do
Maine Tumse Chupaya.Meri Mangni Ho Chuki Hai
Girlfriend:
... ...
Aray Koi Baat Nahi
Chalo ao Aaj Main Tumhe Apne Bachon Se Milwati Hun.....

Santa k marne k baad 62 yamdoot aaye,
2 yamdoot sawal puch rahe the
Aur baki k 60 yamdoot,
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santa ko sawal samjha rahe the.

fakeer bachi se: Allah k nam per kuch de do beta
Bachi: me beta nhe beti hoo
Fakeer: Allah k nam per kuch de do beti
Bachi: mera nam pinky h
Fakeer: Allah k nam per Kuch de do pinky
Bachi: mera pora nam pinky mogey vali h
Fakeer: Allah k nam per de do pinky mogey vali
Bachi: ye hoi na bat aage jao.

Wife- Agar Main Waqt Hoti Log Meri Kitni Qadar Karte Na.?
Husband- Log Tumhe Dekh Daar Jate.
Wife- Kayo.?
Husband- Log Kehte Wo Dekho
Bura Waqt Aaaaa Raha Hai.

Ek topi bechne wala paed k niche aaram kr rha tha...k achanak kuch bndar uski topiyan utha kr le gye..
use ek dum apne dada ji ki sunayi kahani yad ayi or usne apni 1 topi utha kr phenk di..
.
1monky aya or ek THAPPAD mar kr bola
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"Saale tu kya sochta hai hamara dada hame kahani nhi suna k gye kya

1 aadmi chabi se apna kaan khujla raha tha.
Santa use gor se dekh raha tha, kuch der baad bola
bhai saab agar aap start nahi ho rahe ho to dhakka lga du.

Teacher-Tum Ro Q Rahe Ho?
Ladka-Meri Mummy Mere Papa Ko Kutta Kehti Hai
Aur Papa Unko Billi,
Mujhe Samajh Nahi Aata Ki Main Pilla Hu
Ya Billa

aik baar Santa or Banta mil kar safar kar rahy thay
k achanak Banta ny kaha wo dekho aik mara hua parinda.
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Santa ne uper asman ki taraf dekha or pocha k kidher kidher

Ek Dada Dadi Ne Jawani K Dino Ko Yaad Karne Ka Faisla Kiya..
Agle Din Dada Phool Le Kar Wahi Pahucha Jaha Wo Jawani Me Mila Karte The, Waha Khade-2 Dada K Pairo Me Dard Ho Gaya Lekin Dadi Nahi Aayi...
Ghar Ja Kar Dada Gusse Se: "Aayi Kyo Nahi...????"
Daadi Sharmate Hue: "Mummy Ne Aane Hi Nahi Diya.

SIR- Samaj tujhe 10 laddu diye..
Boy- Mujhe..??
SIR- Samaj na tere baap ka kya jata hai..!
... ... ...
Us main se 5 mujhe diye to tere paas kitne bache..?
Boy-20..!
SIR- Kaise..?
Boy- samaj na tere baap ka kya jata hai..!!

Ek ladke ne ek ladki ko propose kiya thru msg .. Ladki ne 2din mein us se shaadi karli yeh sochkar ki koi itna saara pyaar kaise kar sakta hai!
socho ladke ne kya kaha hoga??
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I love u utna,
CA ka syllabus h jitna..!

1st BOY-ladki fasani ati hai?
2nd-na
1st-Seekh: pehle 1 kagaz ka jahaz bana
fir use class me uda de.
Jb Mem puche to ladki ka nam laga de
BAS FAS GAI LADKI...!ck!

Daru Ki Wajah Se Barbad Sharabi Ne Kasam Li or Ghar Se Daru Ki Khali Bottles Fekne Laga
1st Fek K Bola: Teri Wajah Se Meri Naukri Chali Gae
2nd Fekte Bola: Teri Wajah Se Meri Biwi or ghar Chala Gaya.
3rd Uthai To Wo Bhari Hui Nikli To Bola : ''''Tu Side Me Ho Ja... Isme Tera Koi Kasoor Nahi Hai.

Santa juice ka gilas le k baitha tha.
Banta aaya aur fataak se juice pi gya.
Santa- Meri to saali kismat hi kharaab hai.
Beta fail ho gya.
Bivi dost k saath bhag gyi.
Naukrani aa ni rahi.
Nal me pani nahi.
Ghar me light nahi.
Ab juice mein
Zehar dal k peene ko rakha tha, aur WO BHI TU PI GYA?

santa ne ek aadmi ke tapad mar dia
Man- meri galati kya h?
Santa-Saale tu kya smajta h me teri galati ka intjar karta rahunga.

Teddy gift krne par
modern grl-oh wow so
cute!
Muslim-Allah!kitna khubsurat h
Sikh grl-Kinna sona h
rajasthani chhori- o re dra diyo o k bhalu so diyo h tingar.

Tchr 2 Snta: Ur son is a fool
See his reprt.
Eng-2
Math-5
Scnce-7
SST-8
Hindi-3
Total-25
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Snta-Total me to kamal kiya hai
Is sbjct ki tution tak nhi rakhi thi.

A Colgate repoter comes on santa's door

Repoter: kya apke toothpaste mai namak hai ?

Santa : chal bhag sali

Kal ko puchegi

kya apke shampoo mai Garam masala hai?!!!!!!?

SINGH te MUSLIM ne Jail cho Faraar hon lai surang khodni suru kiti.. Har ik ghante baad Muslim namaaj padhan beth janda.. Singh nu gussa aa geya te kehan laga:- kanjra je main AKHAND PAATH rakh lea ta 3 din ethe hi baitha rahenga.......

Fakeer:Maaji Bhukha Hu, Khuda Ke Naam pe Khana De Do
Maaji:Khana Abhi Nahi Paka
Fakeer:FaceBook Pe RAHIM CHACHA k Naam Se Hu
Pak Jaye To update kar dena..;)

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